1 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,095 Male narrator: The American superstore. 2 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:06,371 One-stop shopping 3 00:00:06,372 --> 00:00:08,640 for everything you could ever want or need. 4 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,471 Do you want to be thinner? 5 00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:12,536 Fatter? 6 00:00:12,544 --> 00:00:14,444 Happier? 7 00:00:14,445 --> 00:00:16,405 Sadder? 8 00:00:16,413 --> 00:00:19,013 Are you looking for friendship? 9 00:00:19,015 --> 00:00:21,045 Or solitude? 10 00:00:21,050 --> 00:00:23,050 Or even love? 11 00:00:23,052 --> 00:00:25,552 - That's actually a cubic zirconia knockoff. 12 00:00:25,554 --> 00:00:27,121 It's called PlastiClear. 13 00:00:27,122 --> 00:00:28,322 - What happened to the $8 ones? 14 00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:30,090 - We're all sold out of those, sorry. 15 00:00:30,091 --> 00:00:31,721 But this one's only $2 more. 16 00:00:31,725 --> 00:00:32,935 - I get it. 17 00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:34,159 You advertise the cheap jewelry 18 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,326 to get the suckers in the door, 19 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,687 then you push the expensive stuff. 20 00:00:36,695 --> 00:00:38,425 - Well, I wouldn't use the word "suckers," 21 00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:39,760 or "expensive," 22 00:00:39,764 --> 00:00:41,331 or "jewelry." 23 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:42,799 - [sighs] 24 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,416 Fine. 25 00:00:44,417 --> 00:00:46,027 I got to stand in line for cigarettes anyhow. 26 00:00:46,036 --> 00:00:48,146 - Great. 27 00:00:48,154 --> 00:00:50,274 I hope you and your fiancée are very happy together... 28 00:00:51,607 --> 00:00:53,537 And that you don't procreate. 29 00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:54,742 Glenn. - Huh? 30 00:00:54,743 --> 00:00:56,477 - I'm taking a mental-health break. 31 00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:59,278 - Okay. Have fun now. 32 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,347 Reflect. 33 00:01:01,348 --> 00:01:04,817 - Just checking over your new hire forms. 34 00:01:04,818 --> 00:01:06,718 American citizen. Nice. 35 00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:07,719 [chuckles] 36 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,086 No dependents. 37 00:01:09,087 --> 00:01:10,447 Me neither, unless you count my birds. 38 00:01:10,456 --> 00:01:11,656 [both laugh] 39 00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:13,587 It just doesn't say anywhere on here 40 00:01:13,592 --> 00:01:16,092 if you've got a girlfriend. 41 00:01:16,094 --> 00:01:17,694 - I didn't... Is there a space for that? 42 00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:19,075 - There's this section here: 43 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,459 "Is there anything else we should know?" 44 00:01:20,464 --> 00:01:22,231 Some people like to volunteer it. 45 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:25,200 - Oh. Um... then also no. 46 00:01:25,201 --> 00:01:27,318 - No. - No. 47 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,437 - Okay, well, I will just jot that down, then. 48 00:01:29,438 --> 00:01:31,138 But you are heterosexual, right? 49 00:01:31,139 --> 00:01:33,569 - Is... are you allowed to ask that? 50 00:01:33,574 --> 00:01:35,314 - No. 51 00:01:39,479 --> 00:01:41,409 - Smart. 52 00:01:41,413 --> 00:01:43,348 We always keep the best rolls right in the middle. 53 00:01:43,349 --> 00:01:44,915 [sighs] 54 00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:46,476 - Oh, wait. No, no, no. Let me help you with that. 55 00:01:46,485 --> 00:01:47,575 - Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. 56 00:01:47,586 --> 00:01:48,586 - It's fine, I work here. 57 00:01:48,587 --> 00:01:49,687 It's, like, my... 58 00:01:49,688 --> 00:01:51,448 It's my job to help customers, so. 59 00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:52,856 - You work here? 60 00:01:52,857 --> 00:01:54,157 Since when? 61 00:01:54,158 --> 00:01:55,318 - Since right now. 62 00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:57,485 I'm... it's actually my first day. 63 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,726 - Oh. - I know. 64 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,327 I don't seem like the kind of person 65 00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,128 who would work in a place like this. 66 00:02:02,129 --> 00:02:03,659 - [laughs] 67 00:02:03,663 --> 00:02:05,463 Yeah, that's why I was so surprised. 68 00:02:05,464 --> 00:02:06,764 I was like, "What?" 69 00:02:06,765 --> 00:02:08,195 - "What?" - "Him?" 70 00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:09,866 - "What's he doing cleaning up toilet paper?" 71 00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:11,797 - I think it's because you just... you have this 72 00:02:11,802 --> 00:02:15,202 very intelligent, educated, more cultured quality, 73 00:02:15,205 --> 00:02:16,195 I mean, compared to... 74 00:02:16,206 --> 00:02:18,106 - Yeah. Oh, hey. 75 00:02:18,107 --> 00:02:19,637 Look, I get that you're complimenting me, 76 00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:21,408 but it might sound a little condescending, 77 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:22,409 so, you know... 78 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,910 - Oh, yeah, thanks. 79 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,411 No, I wouldn't want to sound condescending 80 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,780 in front of somebody who works here. 81 00:02:26,781 --> 00:02:27,781 - Right. 82 00:02:27,782 --> 00:02:28,782 [laughs] 83 00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:30,150 - [moaning] 84 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,881 Hey, can I run out for two minutes? 85 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:33,316 This thing is kicking my bladder 86 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,550 like it owes him money. 87 00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:36,254 - Oh, you know what, I'm actually not in charge... 88 00:02:36,255 --> 00:02:37,885 - Yes, of course. I'll take Carly off express. 89 00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:40,189 And Vivian can bag, so take as long as you need. 90 00:02:40,191 --> 00:02:41,691 - Ah, thanks. 91 00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:47,229 - Little tip: 92 00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:48,830 don't let the other workers here 93 00:02:48,831 --> 00:02:50,731 know how much better than them you are. 94 00:02:50,732 --> 00:02:51,798 They hate that. 95 00:02:51,799 --> 00:02:53,529 I don't know why, maybe because 96 00:02:53,534 --> 00:02:55,304 it sounds condescending. 97 00:02:57,237 --> 00:02:58,337 Welcome. 98 00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:02,673 - I'm... 99 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,713 No, no, no, no! 100 00:03:11,381 --> 00:03:15,350 [upbeat music] 101 00:03:15,351 --> 00:03:16,718 - All right, campers, listen up. 102 00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:18,386 I've got an important announcement. 103 00:03:18,387 --> 00:03:21,447 This is your garden variety generic decongestant. 104 00:03:21,456 --> 00:03:23,816 And this is crystal meth, okay? 105 00:03:23,825 --> 00:03:27,425 The tweakers use this to make this. 106 00:03:27,428 --> 00:03:30,458 So stop selling them this, so they can't make this. 107 00:03:30,464 --> 00:03:32,864 - That guy told me he had a really bad cold. 108 00:03:32,866 --> 00:03:34,896 - He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne. 109 00:03:34,901 --> 00:03:36,768 That should have been a red flag, okay? 110 00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:37,769 Use your noggin. 111 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,737 - Let's thank Dina 112 00:03:39,738 --> 00:03:41,468 for that helpful tip of the day. 113 00:03:41,473 --> 00:03:42,606 Thank you, Dina. 114 00:03:42,607 --> 00:03:44,107 - Am I the only one that thinks it's weird 115 00:03:44,108 --> 00:03:45,608 that she walking around with a bag of crystal meth? 116 00:03:45,610 --> 00:03:47,410 - Hey, listen. 117 00:03:47,411 --> 00:03:49,211 I... I think there might have been a misunderstanding. 118 00:03:49,213 --> 00:03:51,313 I'm not an elitist, so... 119 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,715 - Oh, elitist? What is that? 120 00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:56,177 - Like, a person who thinks their better than... 121 00:03:56,186 --> 00:03:58,446 You know what elitist means. 122 00:03:58,454 --> 00:03:59,687 - Oh, yeah. 123 00:03:59,688 --> 00:04:01,748 They learnt that to us in public school. 124 00:04:01,756 --> 00:04:04,586 - Anyway, I am so proud 125 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:09,896 to welcome two new angels to our Cloud 9 family. 126 00:04:09,897 --> 00:04:12,257 Why don't you introduce yourselves? 127 00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:13,466 - Okay. 128 00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:14,727 Hello, everyone. 129 00:04:14,734 --> 00:04:16,968 I am Jonah. 130 00:04:16,969 --> 00:04:19,337 And I am... I am excited to be here. 131 00:04:19,338 --> 00:04:20,868 This is gonna be fun, so... 132 00:04:20,872 --> 00:04:24,441 - My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag, 133 00:04:24,442 --> 00:04:26,776 and I'm here to make something of myself. 134 00:04:26,777 --> 00:04:28,477 ♪ Spread my wings ♪ 135 00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:29,678 Whoo! 136 00:04:29,679 --> 00:04:31,609 See how far I can fly. 137 00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,881 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 138 00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:38,252 - Yeah, I, too, would like to see how far I can fly. 139 00:04:39,786 --> 00:04:42,316 So... 140 00:04:42,321 --> 00:04:43,621 - Saved it. - Thank you. 141 00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:46,790 - Now, I used to end these meetings 142 00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:49,459 with some wisdom from the Good Book. 143 00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:51,627 But then someone reported me to corporate. 144 00:04:51,628 --> 00:04:53,495 - Heck yeah, I did. 145 00:04:53,496 --> 00:04:55,356 Look, I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, 146 00:04:55,365 --> 00:04:57,665 my bible is the employee code of conduct. 147 00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:58,997 - We all thank you for it. 148 00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:00,631 - Yeah, you're welcome. 149 00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:01,625 - I pray for you, Dina. 150 00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:02,736 - I pray for you, too, Glenn. 151 00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:03,897 - No, I'm praying right now. 152 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,404 - I'm praying so hard. 153 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,565 - I'm praying harder than you. 154 00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,539 I know how. 155 00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:10,508 So to welcome our new employees... 156 00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:13,477 ["Jurassic Park" theme plays] 157 00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:14,478 Welcome. 158 00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:16,609 Welcome to Cloud 9. 159 00:05:16,614 --> 00:05:18,548 - This is my jam. 160 00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:21,549 ["Jurassic Park" theme] 161 00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:23,686 ♪ ♪ 162 00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,487 - Hey, do we have any kind of training? 163 00:05:25,488 --> 00:05:26,518 I've just been wandering 164 00:05:26,522 --> 00:05:27,752 from one department to another, 165 00:05:27,756 --> 00:05:29,556 trying to look like I have purpose. 166 00:05:29,557 --> 00:05:32,287 - It works better if you carry a box. 167 00:05:32,293 --> 00:05:33,293 There you go. See? 168 00:05:33,294 --> 00:05:34,944 You'll learn as you go. 169 00:05:34,945 --> 00:05:36,595 Look, man, only a couple things to remember: 170 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:39,297 always show up on time, don't steal, 171 00:05:39,299 --> 00:05:41,329 and stay on the floor supervisor's good side. 172 00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:43,704 - The fl... who's the floor supervisor? 173 00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:48,038 [sighs] 174 00:05:48,039 --> 00:05:49,809 - I got to go get another box. 175 00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:54,742 - Hey, can we... Can we start over? 176 00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:57,044 I'm... Jonah, as you know. 177 00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:58,576 And you're Ramona. 178 00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:00,280 - Nope, that is not my name. 179 00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:02,481 I just don't like random strangers using my name 180 00:06:02,483 --> 00:06:03,516 like we're buddies. 181 00:06:03,517 --> 00:06:05,017 - Right, like how hookers 182 00:06:05,018 --> 00:06:06,978 don't like to be kissed on the lips. 183 00:06:06,986 --> 00:06:09,286 - Did you just compare me to a hooker? 184 00:06:10,322 --> 00:06:11,452 - No. 185 00:06:11,456 --> 00:06:12,586 - You look bored. 186 00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,557 Let me help you with that. 187 00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:16,526 All electronics are supposed to be 25% off, 188 00:06:16,527 --> 00:06:17,987 but our POS system is down. 189 00:06:17,995 --> 00:06:21,595 So you scan, hit "reassign," 190 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,558 "enter," "override, yes," 191 00:06:23,566 --> 00:06:26,326 "reduce 0.25," "enter, yes, yes." 192 00:06:26,335 --> 00:06:27,465 You are not paying attention. 193 00:06:27,469 --> 00:06:29,035 - I'm sorry. Go ahead. 194 00:06:29,036 --> 00:06:30,596 - "Confirm," "enter, yes." Got it? 195 00:06:30,605 --> 00:06:31,595 - If I guessed your name, 196 00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:32,766 would you tell me if I was right? 197 00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:34,973 [Cheyenne shrieks] 198 00:06:34,975 --> 00:06:36,905 - Take this. 199 00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:39,010 - Oh, it's so pretty! 200 00:06:39,012 --> 00:06:40,712 - I'll make a list. 201 00:06:41,847 --> 00:06:43,577 - Oh, excuse me, miss. 202 00:06:43,582 --> 00:06:44,965 Do you know the difference 203 00:06:44,966 --> 00:06:46,346 between a stool softener and a laxative? 204 00:06:46,351 --> 00:06:47,551 - I'll be right with you, ma'am. 205 00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:48,852 Cheyenne, what's going on? 206 00:06:48,853 --> 00:06:51,353 - My boyfriend just asked me to marry him. 207 00:06:51,355 --> 00:06:52,445 - I don't want it soft. 208 00:06:52,456 --> 00:06:54,786 I want it out of me. 209 00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:56,758 - You know, I hadn't realized earlier 210 00:06:56,759 --> 00:06:58,889 that Cheyenne was the lucky girl you'd be proposing to. 211 00:06:58,894 --> 00:07:00,327 - Yeah, well, I knocked her up, 212 00:07:00,328 --> 00:07:01,328 so my dad says I have to. 213 00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:02,329 - [squeals joyfully] 214 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:03,496 - So romantic. 215 00:07:03,497 --> 00:07:04,657 - That's how I do it, yo. 216 00:07:04,664 --> 00:07:05,797 100% love. 217 00:07:05,798 --> 00:07:07,398 - Bulking agent? 218 00:07:07,399 --> 00:07:08,629 Why would I want more bulk? 219 00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:09,666 - Ugh. 220 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:13,036 Chey, you didn't say yes, did you? 221 00:07:13,037 --> 00:07:14,997 - Why wouldn't I say yes? 222 00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,365 - Um... 223 00:07:17,841 --> 00:07:19,441 Cheyenne, look at me. 224 00:07:19,442 --> 00:07:22,942 I know how easy it is to get swept up in the... 225 00:07:22,945 --> 00:07:25,475 romance of all of... this. 226 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,047 But... 227 00:07:27,048 --> 00:07:29,716 think it through, okay? 228 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,377 Don't do something you're gonna regret 229 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,845 for the rest of your life. 230 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,951 - Yeah, okay. 231 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,615 I'm gonna go sleep on it. 232 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:46,032 [a-ha's "Take On Me" playing] 233 00:07:47,499 --> 00:07:48,499 - Hey. 234 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,867 I think I got it down. 235 00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:52,536 - No offense, but you're my competition, 236 00:07:52,537 --> 00:07:54,897 so I'm kind of actually rooting for you to fail. 237 00:07:54,906 --> 00:07:56,206 Okay, thanks. Bye. 238 00:07:58,576 --> 00:08:00,206 - [speaking indistinctly] 239 00:08:00,210 --> 00:08:02,177 - Hey! 240 00:08:02,178 --> 00:08:04,648 I figured it out. 241 00:08:11,119 --> 00:08:13,086 - We need new shelf flags for the end caps, 242 00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:14,787 but we should check the DCPis first, 243 00:08:14,788 --> 00:08:15,918 because last time... 244 00:08:15,922 --> 00:08:18,256 What is happening? 245 00:08:18,257 --> 00:08:19,957 - Could it be a race riot? 246 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:23,026 It's so hard to tell in the early stages. 247 00:08:23,027 --> 00:08:25,057 Could be the rapture, 248 00:08:25,062 --> 00:08:26,862 but then why am I still here? 249 00:08:29,498 --> 00:08:30,558 - Hey. 250 00:08:30,565 --> 00:08:32,055 I am killing it over here. 251 00:08:32,066 --> 00:08:34,696 - You're only discounting everything 25%, right? 252 00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:37,669 - Yeah, "scan, "reassign," "yes," "override," 253 00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:38,670 "yes," "reprice..." 254 00:08:38,671 --> 00:08:40,571 - Reduce. - Huh? 255 00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:41,702 - Reduce 0.25. 256 00:08:41,706 --> 00:08:42,966 Reprice 0.25? 257 00:08:42,973 --> 00:08:45,040 That would change everything to 25¢. 258 00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:48,141 [clamoring] 259 00:08:51,212 --> 00:08:53,079 Shut it down! 260 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,150 Shut it all down! 261 00:08:58,284 --> 00:09:00,251 [scanners beeping] 262 00:09:00,252 --> 00:09:03,187 - If you sign up for our Heavenly Shoppers program today, 263 00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:05,118 you'll save 15% off your purchase, 264 00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:07,557 which would drop your price to 22¢. 265 00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:08,918 - Stop selling everything! 266 00:09:08,926 --> 00:09:09,926 Shut it down! 267 00:09:09,927 --> 00:09:11,087 Shut it all down! 268 00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:12,261 Sir, you need to stay right there. 269 00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:13,962 Frank, nobody leaves! 270 00:09:13,963 --> 00:09:16,097 Ma'am! Ma'am, I'm sorry. 271 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,958 I'm gonna need to recheck some of these items. 272 00:09:17,966 --> 00:09:19,126 - No thank you, buh-bye. 273 00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,700 - I'm sorry, I can't just let you leave 274 00:09:20,701 --> 00:09:22,531 with a whole basket full of 25¢ tech... 275 00:09:22,536 --> 00:09:23,816 Ow! 276 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:25,100 - I have more where that came from, lady! 277 00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:26,235 - Oh, I don't think so! 278 00:09:26,239 --> 00:09:27,769 [both grunting] 279 00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:29,006 - Attention, shoppers. 280 00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,737 Due to an employee error, 281 00:09:30,742 --> 00:09:32,676 very expensive electronics 282 00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:34,677 are pricing out at 25¢. 283 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:36,879 This mistake is being corrected, so... 284 00:09:36,881 --> 00:09:37,981 stock up quick! 285 00:09:37,982 --> 00:09:39,212 Go, go, go, go! 286 00:09:39,216 --> 00:09:41,816 - What I'm trying to say is, this is not 25¢. 287 00:09:41,818 --> 00:09:43,578 - [arguing indistinctly] 288 00:09:43,586 --> 00:09:44,716 - Sir, no... 289 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,750 - [arguing indistinctly] 290 00:09:45,754 --> 00:09:46,954 - No two-five, no. 291 00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:49,815 - It touched my car; it's mine! 292 00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:51,824 - That's not a thing. - It is a thing. 293 00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:53,756 - I don't want to be "that guy," 294 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:57,096 but if you had to compare my performance versus Jonah... 295 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,997 - Uh, okay. 296 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,599 - Yeah, you better hurry up, girl. 297 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,167 You better get that TV. 298 00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,698 - Stop, stop! Please, I'm begging you! 299 00:10:05,703 --> 00:10:07,837 - She's very... she's... They're very pretty, yep. 300 00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:09,738 - Ow! Frank! 301 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:10,869 - Y'all don't want to do this. 302 00:10:10,873 --> 00:10:12,106 Please! 303 00:10:12,107 --> 00:10:13,107 [gunshot] 304 00:10:13,108 --> 00:10:15,576 - Sale's over! 305 00:10:15,577 --> 00:10:18,577 - There's no need to identify 306 00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,610 whoever it is 307 00:10:20,615 --> 00:10:22,745 whose fault this was. 308 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:24,680 We can all learn a lesson here. 309 00:10:24,685 --> 00:10:26,145 - Would that lesson be not letting Jonah 310 00:10:26,153 --> 00:10:28,053 reprice inventory in the future? 311 00:10:28,954 --> 00:10:30,721 - It might be, yes. 312 00:10:30,722 --> 00:10:33,222 All right. Punctuality. 313 00:10:33,224 --> 00:10:35,058 I do not tolerate it, 314 00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:37,589 because I do not tolerate it in myself. 315 00:10:37,594 --> 00:10:39,094 I am an angry man, so I get places early... 316 00:10:39,095 --> 00:10:40,955 - Hey... 317 00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:44,098 do they allow employees to date supervisors? 318 00:10:44,099 --> 00:10:46,366 - I don't know. Why? 319 00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,697 - Just curious. 320 00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:48,867 - Let's always remember, 321 00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:51,168 the customer is always right. 322 00:10:57,709 --> 00:11:01,179 - Hey, what's-your-name, check it out. 323 00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:03,975 - Ah. 324 00:11:03,979 --> 00:11:05,646 I was wondering what was taking so long 325 00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:06,947 to stack a few cans. 326 00:11:06,948 --> 00:11:09,378 - I just... I wanted to reiterate 327 00:11:09,383 --> 00:11:11,283 how sorry I am about before. 328 00:11:11,284 --> 00:11:14,119 - And when a customer wants a can of ginger root beer 329 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,050 and the whole thing collapses on top of them, 330 00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:18,015 how are you gonna feel then? 331 00:11:20,358 --> 00:11:22,058 - I was just trying to have some fun. 332 00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:24,289 - This might be a cultural thing, but around here, 333 00:11:24,294 --> 00:11:26,361 the less screwing everything up you do, the better. 334 00:11:26,362 --> 00:11:28,329 - You talking about the cans or the pricing thing? 335 00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:30,060 - You see, the fact that it's your first day 336 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,725 and there's already more than one option 337 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,300 of things you screwed up is not a good thing. 338 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,001 - Okay, I've made some mistakes. 339 00:11:35,002 --> 00:11:36,632 I can admit that, but that doesn't mean 340 00:11:36,636 --> 00:11:38,666 we can't have a little fun at work, does it? 341 00:11:38,671 --> 00:11:40,071 Or try and find some moments of beauty 342 00:11:40,072 --> 00:11:41,072 in the everyday? 343 00:11:41,073 --> 00:11:42,773 - Wait, I'm sorry. 344 00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:45,008 Did you really just use the phrase "moments of beauty," 345 00:11:45,009 --> 00:11:46,409 like, conversationally? 346 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,878 - Okay, yes, that's cheesy, but... 347 00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:51,409 Do you remember "American Beauty"? 348 00:11:51,414 --> 00:11:54,684 Even a plastic bag can be breathtaking. 349 00:12:00,355 --> 00:12:01,645 - Wow. 350 00:12:01,656 --> 00:12:03,686 That really blew my mind. 351 00:12:03,691 --> 00:12:04,691 Like... 352 00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:05,992 [mimics explosion] 353 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,693 I have goose bumps. 354 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,764 - I felt something. 355 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:12,997 I'm Jonah. 356 00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,728 It's my first day. 357 00:12:17,102 --> 00:12:19,770 [carts crash lightly] 358 00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:21,938 [crashing] 359 00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:24,206 [clattering] 360 00:12:24,207 --> 00:12:26,937 - Okay. Stay still. 361 00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:28,977 - I don't usually wear eyeliner. 362 00:12:28,978 --> 00:12:30,808 Sharpie occasionally, but... 363 00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:33,948 - So tell me about this special guy. 364 00:12:33,949 --> 00:12:35,149 - Okay. 365 00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:36,950 Male, Caucasian, 366 00:12:36,951 --> 00:12:40,151 no discernible scars or tattoos. 367 00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:42,354 - Sounds dreamy. 368 00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:44,016 - Yeah. 369 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,758 - You know, speaking of boys, 370 00:12:45,759 --> 00:12:47,689 I've got a pretty big decision to make. 371 00:12:47,694 --> 00:12:49,127 My boyfriend, he... 372 00:12:49,128 --> 00:12:51,028 - I'm glad we could bond like this. 373 00:12:52,296 --> 00:12:54,096 Thank you. 374 00:12:56,699 --> 00:12:57,799 - Excuse me, excuse me! 375 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,450 Hi! 376 00:12:59,451 --> 00:13:01,101 I hung up everything that was in the dressing rooms, 377 00:13:01,103 --> 00:13:03,137 and I organized it by style, color, size, 378 00:13:03,138 --> 00:13:04,998 and relevance of designer. 379 00:13:05,006 --> 00:13:07,336 - Wow. Good job. 380 00:13:07,341 --> 00:13:09,008 - I enjoy hard work. 381 00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:10,269 It's just like my mom always said: 382 00:13:10,276 --> 00:13:12,876 "If you don't work hard, Baby Jesus will cry." 383 00:13:12,878 --> 00:13:13,938 - Okay. 384 00:13:13,945 --> 00:13:15,105 - I don't think I could be happy 385 00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:16,378 fooling around in the parking lot 386 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,209 like the other new guy. 387 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,781 - Slow down! This is not fair! 388 00:13:19,782 --> 00:13:22,082 You have more experience on wheels than I do! 389 00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:24,418 - Your disability is not my concern! 390 00:13:24,419 --> 00:13:26,419 - Seriously? 391 00:13:26,421 --> 00:13:29,256 The only thing I asked you to do was put the carts away. 392 00:13:29,257 --> 00:13:30,317 - That's what I'm doing, 393 00:13:30,324 --> 00:13:32,992 just somewhat circuitously. 394 00:13:32,993 --> 00:13:34,893 - See you later, sucka! 395 00:13:34,894 --> 00:13:37,028 - Are you trying to get fired? 396 00:13:37,029 --> 00:13:38,289 What if Glenn sees this? 397 00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:40,356 - Coming through! 398 00:13:40,364 --> 00:13:42,231 Move! 399 00:13:42,232 --> 00:13:43,432 - That doesn't count. 400 00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:45,333 - Go, Glenn! Yeah! 401 00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:47,468 Yeah! Yes! 402 00:13:47,469 --> 00:13:49,069 In your faces! 403 00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:50,300 Your faces! 404 00:13:50,304 --> 00:13:51,771 Ha-ha! 405 00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,472 - Okay. I get it. 406 00:13:53,473 --> 00:13:54,739 You're the fun guy. 407 00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:55,906 I'm the stick in the mud. 408 00:13:55,907 --> 00:13:56,937 Well, I could be fun. 409 00:13:56,941 --> 00:13:58,171 I could have fun; let's have fun. 410 00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,235 - Of course you can have fun. 411 00:13:59,242 --> 00:14:00,342 - Whoo! 412 00:14:00,343 --> 00:14:03,078 We're playing at work. 413 00:14:03,079 --> 00:14:04,079 - No brakes! 414 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,080 I have no brakes! 415 00:14:05,081 --> 00:14:06,411 No... ooh! 416 00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:14,087 [Nick Gilder's "Hot Child In The City" plays] 417 00:14:14,088 --> 00:14:16,248 ♪ ♪ 418 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,892 - Peace offering. 419 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:22,293 - Are those the flowers 420 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,395 that I picked up off the floor of the garden center? 421 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,397 - Yes. 422 00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:30,126 - They're beautiful trash flowers. 423 00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,299 - Look, I'm sorry, okay? 424 00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:37,339 I have been having a long day. 425 00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:40,210 Ten years of long days, actually. 426 00:14:43,178 --> 00:14:47,208 You know, I stock these glow stars 427 00:14:47,215 --> 00:14:50,245 every single year for the back-to-school sale. 428 00:14:50,251 --> 00:14:51,981 And then I take them down, 429 00:14:51,986 --> 00:14:54,316 and I put up the Halloween inventory, 430 00:14:54,321 --> 00:14:56,151 and then Thanksgiving and Christmas 431 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,656 and Valentine's Day and Easter 432 00:14:58,658 --> 00:15:00,318 and Fourth of July, 433 00:15:00,326 --> 00:15:02,956 and then back-to-school again. 434 00:15:02,961 --> 00:15:04,191 Hmm. 435 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:07,125 - That sounds incredibly not fun. 436 00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:09,261 I see why you love it here. 437 00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:11,966 - It's a good job. 438 00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,498 But tomorrow is gonna be just like today, 439 00:15:14,503 --> 00:15:16,470 and I know that 440 00:15:16,471 --> 00:15:18,439 because today is just like yesterday. 441 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,040 So... sometimes... 442 00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:24,983 it's just kind of hard to find those moments of beauty. 443 00:15:37,624 --> 00:15:39,458 - Attention, shoppers. 444 00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,389 Even a big box store has to close, 445 00:15:41,394 --> 00:15:43,061 and it's about that time. 446 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:45,997 You know, when Pandora closed her famous box, 447 00:15:45,998 --> 00:15:49,598 there was only one thing left inside: hope. 448 00:15:49,601 --> 00:15:53,136 I wonder what will be left inside of this box. 449 00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:56,167 Could it be grace? 450 00:15:56,173 --> 00:15:57,206 I hope not. 451 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,307 If you're Grace's parents, 452 00:15:58,308 --> 00:16:01,338 please pick her up at customer service. 453 00:16:01,344 --> 00:16:03,011 - I took the initiative upon myself 454 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:04,312 to reorganize the toy section 455 00:16:04,313 --> 00:16:05,946 for the convenience of adult shoppers. 456 00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:07,377 It was just feeling overly whimsical. 457 00:16:07,381 --> 00:16:09,381 - I want to show you something I've been working on. 458 00:16:09,383 --> 00:16:11,150 - Oh. You were working. Where? 459 00:16:11,151 --> 00:16:13,018 Because I've been in every single department, 460 00:16:13,019 --> 00:16:14,449 and I haven't seen you in a couple hours, 461 00:16:14,453 --> 00:16:16,320 unless you were in, like, the break room maybe. 462 00:16:16,321 --> 00:16:19,421 - Everybody get down on the ground, now! 463 00:16:19,424 --> 00:16:20,424 [woman screams] 464 00:16:20,425 --> 00:16:22,255 Get down, get down, get down! 465 00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:23,727 Touch the ground! 466 00:16:23,728 --> 00:16:25,588 Or get out! 467 00:16:25,596 --> 00:16:27,456 All right, calm down. 468 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,298 Do what I say, and nobody gets hurt. 469 00:16:29,299 --> 00:16:31,015 - This is what I trained for. 470 00:16:31,016 --> 00:16:32,726 - Now, I'm gonna start killing somebody every minute, 471 00:16:32,735 --> 00:16:35,065 unless... 472 00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:37,337 unless you agree to marry me, Cheyenne. 473 00:16:37,338 --> 00:16:38,338 Hit it! 474 00:16:38,339 --> 00:16:39,339 - Hey, what the [bleep]? 475 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:41,207 Oh! 476 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:44,208 [dramatic pop music playing] 477 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:49,148 ♪ ♪ 478 00:16:49,149 --> 00:16:56,049 - ♪ I'll say, "Will you marry me?" ♪ 479 00:16:56,055 --> 00:16:58,315 - I had nothing to do with this. 480 00:16:58,323 --> 00:17:00,557 - Yeah, I know. 481 00:17:00,558 --> 00:17:02,688 This is the fault of YouTube. 482 00:17:02,693 --> 00:17:08,063 ♪ ♪ 483 00:17:08,064 --> 00:17:10,064 - ♪ Heard you want to walk down the aisle ♪ 484 00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:11,226 ♪ You're baby needs a daddy ♪ 485 00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:12,849 ♪ We've been bangin' for a while ♪ 486 00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,468 ♪ All right, I pay the consequences of my actions ♪ 487 00:17:14,469 --> 00:17:15,569 ♪ Don't try to change me ♪ 488 00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:16,770 ♪ 'Cause I'm a man of actions ♪ 489 00:17:16,771 --> 00:17:17,771 Yo! 490 00:17:17,772 --> 00:17:19,506 - What a show. 491 00:17:19,507 --> 00:17:21,437 - I'm calling to report a code green in progress. 492 00:17:21,442 --> 00:17:22,442 I repeat, code green. 493 00:17:22,443 --> 00:17:23,809 - What's a code green? 494 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,178 - I faxed you a list of codes last month! 495 00:17:25,179 --> 00:17:26,379 Hostage situation! 496 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,147 You need to get SWAT down here right now! 497 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,778 - ♪ When all these people gonna learn ♪ 498 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,382 ♪ We're gonna get burned ♪ 499 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,150 ♪ Just waiting for our turn ♪ 500 00:17:33,151 --> 00:17:35,151 Yo, ♪BlackLivesMatter, y'all. 501 00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:36,453 [makes gunshot noise] 502 00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:38,221 Okay, if you like what you heard and saw, 503 00:17:38,222 --> 00:17:40,756 I'm currently seeking representation in all areas. 504 00:17:40,757 --> 00:17:42,257 Also, I do modeling, 505 00:17:42,258 --> 00:17:43,688 so I'm just throwing that out there. 506 00:17:43,692 --> 00:17:46,026 All right, peace out, St. Louis. 507 00:17:46,027 --> 00:17:47,187 M-m-murr! 508 00:17:47,194 --> 00:17:49,094 - Bo. - What? 509 00:17:49,095 --> 00:17:51,095 Oh, my bad, yo. 510 00:17:51,097 --> 00:17:52,197 [clears throat] 511 00:17:54,033 --> 00:17:56,233 Cheyenne Tyler Lee, 512 00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:58,235 will you marry me? 513 00:17:58,237 --> 00:18:01,137 Or are you gonna be, like, a dick about it? 514 00:18:01,139 --> 00:18:03,139 - Oh, I think he's about to shoot a hostage. 515 00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,811 - I'll do what I can. - Don't do anything. 516 00:18:08,746 --> 00:18:11,576 [gentle music] 517 00:18:11,582 --> 00:18:14,050 - What is this? 518 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:22,051 ♪ ♪ 519 00:18:27,263 --> 00:18:28,663 - Moment of beauty? 520 00:18:38,306 --> 00:18:40,606 - To Cheyenne. 521 00:18:40,608 --> 00:18:42,388 All: Cheers! 522 00:18:42,392 --> 00:18:44,177 - May your marriage be as sweet and colorful 523 00:18:44,178 --> 00:18:46,846 as this Cloud 9 brand caffeinated malt beverage, 524 00:18:46,847 --> 00:18:49,447 without the recall for killing college students. 525 00:18:49,449 --> 00:18:52,649 - Thank you, on behalf of myself and Bo. 526 00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:53,852 [indistinct radio chatter] 527 00:18:53,853 --> 00:18:55,853 - Well, he did make it memorable. 528 00:18:55,855 --> 00:18:57,345 I'll give him that. 529 00:18:57,356 --> 00:18:59,156 - I mean, most guys don't even bother 530 00:18:59,157 --> 00:19:00,857 threatening to kill you when they propose. 531 00:19:00,858 --> 00:19:02,618 - You were never in any real danger. 532 00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:03,726 You know that, right? 533 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:06,187 - Yeah, I know. It was a fake robbery. 534 00:19:06,196 --> 00:19:08,596 - This is a high-velocity 440-grain lead 535 00:19:08,598 --> 00:19:10,428 flat-nose projectile with gas checks 536 00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:12,700 and a boxer-primed brass jacket. 537 00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:14,501 If he'd come within 10 feet of you, 538 00:19:14,502 --> 00:19:16,302 you would have seen his head explode like a watermelon. 539 00:19:16,304 --> 00:19:17,470 [mimics explosion] 540 00:19:17,471 --> 00:19:19,271 Cleanup on aisle... 541 00:19:19,272 --> 00:19:20,538 I don't even know what aisle it is, 542 00:19:20,539 --> 00:19:22,469 'cause his brains would be splattered 543 00:19:22,474 --> 00:19:23,441 all over the sign. 544 00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:26,309 [laughing] 545 00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:27,710 Oh, shoot. 546 00:19:27,711 --> 00:19:30,579 - You know, I wish that we could wear jewelry at work. 547 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,747 - Oh, it's so... 548 00:19:32,748 --> 00:19:34,508 sparkly. 549 00:19:34,516 --> 00:19:36,376 - You know, I thought about what you said 550 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,352 about not doing something that I might regret, 551 00:19:39,353 --> 00:19:44,322 but then, in the moment, you know, under the stars, 552 00:19:44,323 --> 00:19:46,123 it just felt right. 553 00:19:46,124 --> 00:19:48,158 Without you, I would have never said yes, 554 00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:49,219 so thank you. 555 00:19:49,226 --> 00:19:50,556 - Oh. 556 00:19:52,728 --> 00:19:56,197 - Well, I should go bail out my boyfriend now. 557 00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:59,498 Or I mean bail out my fiancé! 558 00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:00,731 - Aw. 559 00:20:00,735 --> 00:20:02,735 - All right. I got to get going. 560 00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:03,767 Good night, everyone. 561 00:20:03,771 --> 00:20:05,738 - Good night. 562 00:20:05,739 --> 00:20:08,269 - Hey, wait up. 563 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,507 Wait up. 564 00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:11,838 Hey, I didn't mean to... 565 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:15,212 That, in there... 566 00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:16,546 I just wanted today 567 00:20:16,547 --> 00:20:18,847 to feel different than yesterday. 568 00:20:18,849 --> 00:20:20,749 - Well, then you completely failed, 569 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:24,250 because that exact same thing happened yesterday. 570 00:20:24,253 --> 00:20:26,453 - [laughs] 571 00:20:26,455 --> 00:20:29,515 - But... thank you. 572 00:20:32,527 --> 00:20:33,527 Okay. 573 00:20:33,528 --> 00:20:35,728 I really do have to get going. 574 00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,330 See you at work tomorrow, Jonah? 575 00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:40,599 - You certainly will... champ. 576 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,500 - [laughs] 577 00:20:43,502 --> 00:20:45,469 Amy. 578 00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:48,870 - Nice to meet you, Amy. 579 00:20:54,177 --> 00:20:55,937 - Yo, you should come with us, man. 580 00:20:55,945 --> 00:20:58,275 We're gonna throw some mannequin limbs in the dumpster 581 00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,947 and watch garbage men freak out. 582 00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:02,278 - That sounds awesome. 583 00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:04,283 - It is awesome. 584 00:21:04,285 --> 00:21:05,545 Come on. 585 00:21:05,552 --> 00:21:08,552 [uplifting music]